About

This is a site dedicated to giving those struggling in the dating world advice on what to do and what not to do. It started out as a site to vent all of my dating follies, but now that I’m on the other side, everything I did wrong all makes so much sense. Predicting how others’ relationships will turn out and warning friends to steer clear and see warning signs are huge strengths of mine now. I have yet to be wrong on a prediction.

I know many things from experience. One thing is for sure… You must go through your own experiences and learn your own lessons in order to find the right person for you. Others can give you solid advice all day, but until you really understand why you should follow that great advice, you’re going to do whatever the hell it is that you want to do until you learn.

With that being said, here’s a ton of advice. Eventually, there will be enough material here to cover just about every situation you could be in so that you know exactly what you should do when you’re having questions about what to do next with this person you are dating. Then, when you don’t follow the advice, you can have my “voice” in your head screaming “I told you so!”

Then, you will learn. Not because I told you so, but because you actually learned.

“I am an artist and this is my outlet. Writing keeps me sane.” -Jayden

All of my old blog posts about my dating life are still on here so you can see all the shit I went through and all the stupid mistakes I made. It’s not my entire dating history, but it’s a good chunk of the last half of it. Enjoy.

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10 thoughts on “About

  1. Let me tell you a story.

    Once upon a time, a guy started keeping a journal. Since he only wrote when he was sufficiently motivated, he ended up only writing during superlative moments – the highest highs, and the lowest lows. And since nothing much else was going on in his life, the journal ended up being primarily about his girlfriends. Later, he got too busy, or whatever else, and he stopped writing in it.

    Several years later, he picked it up again, flipped to a random place, and began reading. He read all about how Ex-Girlfriend A treated him poorly, and did him wrong, and how she made him feel, and what he was listening to, and… then he saw her name. Why, it wasn’t Ex-Girlfriend A after all! It was Ex-Girlfriend C! But this time, he was a little older and wiser, so he started from the beginning. And slowly he began to realize something…

    A pattern. He had been going through a pattern of choosing a certain type of girl, a little immature, a little needy, a little jealous and possessive, emotionally distant and stunted, etc. And all those qualities were present in the first girl he ever fell in love with. He realized that he had been choosing the same kind of woman over and over, and that kind of woman was wrongwrongwrong!

    He stopped looking for any type of woman, reasoning that he might be missing some qualities or traits that he might like but that he didn’t know existed. Sort of like eating only chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and never getting to enjoy the chocolate chip cookie doughs, and the moose tracks, and the peppermints.

    And now he’s been married 16 years.

    The End.

    See what I’m saying?

    • I totally see what you’re saying. However, this one was different than all of the other guys before. He had completely different qualities and actually treated me like I dreamed of but never thought existed. There was a pattern of always dating guys who were unattractive and safe. Then there was a pattern of dating religious nuts. Then there was a pattern of settling for less than I deserved because he had some of the things I wanted. Them there was a pattern of moving too fast and being used. Then, I woke up, saw my patterns, and did something different. I went for someone who was actually very attractive, someone who I didn’t have everything in common with, someone who balanced me out well, someone who was patient with my hearing loss, someone who has passion and motivation to live a great life, and someone who sincerely cares about others. I only recently started blogging online. I used to write everything in journals, so I can look back and see those patterns. Thanks for the comment.

      • I didn’t mean to sound condescending just then. I was more giving myself a stern lectury reminder for a second.

        Something else to think about: The maximum number of romantic relationships that will work out in anyone’s life is one (aside from deaths). This guy is looking for someone else. Let him go, keep him as a friend or not, and keep going with your new found wisdom. Okay, sorry, I’m doing it again. Sorry.

      • Hahaha it’s ok! I know you mean well. Why do I do if he decides he wants me back? Usually, I never hear from the guy ever again, but he has contacted me and let me know that this was a very difficult decision for him because he cares a lot about me. He wants to remain close friends, but I don’t know how to respond if he wants more and changes his mind.

      • He says he’s not looking for anyone right now. He thought he wanted something long term, but now he wants to chase a new career.

      • I think you know what you want, and he doesn’t. He’s dealing with what I call ‘prom date dilemma’. It’s where you want to go with Person A, but Person B asks you. You don’t know whether to wait for Person A, or say yes to Person B only to have Person A ask you later.

        Always be in control of decisions about your life. The minute you give control to someone else, heartache city, population you.

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