Maybe I’m still in love, or maybe I’m just man hungry. I am trying so hard to move on but it feels like I am betraying my own heart. Some days, being single is fun. I run my own life and make my own schedule. I don’t have to justify or explain myself to anyone. I can change my plans whenever I need to. However, I don’t have anyone to love or share life with. It’s pretty lonely sometimes.
I have been wondering lately if it’s low self- esteem, if I’m depressed or desperate, or if I’m just really ready to find him. I’m not entirely sure, but I get so discouraged when I feel I have made successful flirtatious eye-contact with a guy a few times and he doesn’t come talk to me. I am trying so hard to learn how to give off that “I’m available vibe” because I’ve always sucked at it. However, I have also learned that the type of guys I’m usually attracted to are generally very intimidated by me. So, I’ve been wondering, since I’m getting a litte older now, should I start taking more initiative? If I see a guy who I think I would hit it off with but that I think would be too scared to talk to me, should I just walk right up to him and start a conversation? There is this guy that I’ve been kind of crazy about for a long time. He’s Super cute, nerdy, fun, tall, and just very unique. We went out a few times and really hit it off, but he moves so slow that I thought he had lost interest and I started dating someone else. Moving slow is great, but it is possible to go too slow. Well, I have never been able to stop thinking about him, so last night I decided to let him know what I have been thinking and I apologized for not saying something sooner. He said that he felt the same for me but that he was currently dating someone. 😦 THAT SUCKS! Had either one of us been more forward and not so damn scared, we might be in a very awesome relationship right now. I know that I can’t just wait around for him, even though I don’t feel that way about many guys, so I am trying to date around some.
There is this guy I met while walking my dog a few weeks ago. He stopped me to ask about my puppy and we chatted for a few minutes. I really wanted him to like ask me out for coffee sometime, but he didn’t. I saw him once more on my day off when he was on his way to work and it was just simple small talk. He asked about my dog, and I asked about his. I couldn’t hear him very well both times I saw him because both times, my hearing aid battery died, Coincidence? ugh! So frustrating! So, here’s my brilliant idea…
I thought I’d leave a note by the elevator with a picture of my dog and phone number that says, “Dear Pepper, I really enjoyed meeting you the other day and would like to see you again. I think you’re really cute. Here’s my cell. Text me sometime. -Bruno.” He has a female dog and I have a male dog so I thought that would be a cute idea. But I don’t know if that would be strange. What do you think?