We had a talk the other night. It was a good but hard talk. We almost split because we couldn’t figure out a good solution. He doesn’t like the idea of talking to a professional on relationships, because he thinks you should be able to handle issues between the two of you. He just doesn’t see the point. He has seen it destroy relationships but I have seen it help. Anyway, it took all night, but I feel we made some good progress. He helped me understand that he sees trust and love as two separate things. I see those as being bundled together. I didn’t realize that he feels as if he has given me his whole heart. He says he’s never done that before. Maybe it is true that if a girl has been hurt so much she won’t be able to see when she gets a great guy and ultimately ends up pushing him away. I know he’s great. I just didn’t realize I had all of him already.
Apparently he needs more than a year to have full trust in someone. He says I have like 99% of his trust but that I have done things that have kept him from trusting me 100%. (He thinks I was flirting with a guy at work that I thought was gay. He also seems to think I purposely bring on male attention.) I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but maybe he really does just need more time. Some people take five months to get married and some take five years. We both agreed that we dont have time to waste. I don’t know what is going to happen. We are good for now and I hope we continue to grow in love. I’m just scared that I am going to get hurt again.