It feels good to love again, but it also hurts. It is devastating to know that I may only have 60 years with him. It’s just not enough time…
I am lying in bed next to the most wonderful man in the world right now and I can’t sleep. It’s mainly because I have too many things going on in my life at the moment, but that’s not all I’m thinking about right now. (By the way, we aren’t living together… Not till there’s a ring on my finger!)
I wanted to hear him say “I love you” so badly tonight. I know he does and I felt it so strongly tonight. I wonder how long I can stand to sleep with him without him looking into my eyes and saying it. I’m sure I will really need to hear it from him soon. It is so wonderful to be with someone who actually shows you how they feel about you. But, there will come a point when logically I need to hear it, right? I’m not too worried about it right now, but I fear it becoming a problem. I know he has some fears from being married before. I just hope that doesn’t become the wedge between us. He’s been hurt before. I understand. I’ve been hurt, too, but I can’t imagine being hurt by the person who was your first, your only, and the one you promised the world to.
I guess I should continue to be patient. I’ve done a good job so far.