I think ballet is the only structure I have in my life right now.  It is the only thing I have that is a positive constant in my life.  That and my puppy.  She’s an adorable and sweet puppy.  She never turns down my kisses and is always happy to see me.  I have decided to pile on extra ballet classes to fill in the time that I would have spent dating.  I’ve been wanting to pour my heart into ballet more and now I have the chance to do it.  I was so happy to have the opportunity to dance today. SO HAPPY!

I had lunch with a good friend of mine today who is going through a divorce.  She’s in her early twenties, and I’m so proud of her for being so strong.  She was married for a year and claims he completely changed the day after they got married.  I don’t know if I can believe that none of her friends or family saw warning signs.  I’m sure I would have seen something had I really gotten to know him.  Anyway, she well through absolute hell in that year of being married.  I wasn’t married, but I felt every bit as much shattered as she does.  I was stronger at her age, too.  I feel that I get weaker each time my heart gets broken, and I have six plus years on her of going through heartbreak.  I don’t know what is worse, my situation or hers.  She is still young, I’m not.  She has time on her side.  I’m running out.

One thing she did say to me, though, when I explained my “not having enough glue” analogy was that instead of gluing the pieces back together, you have to weld them together and start over… make something stronger than was there before… rise from the ashes.  I don’t know if my heart was pulverized to dust, but it was close.  I definitely need to figure out how to use a welder.


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